Miles Davis.
If this ain’t wife material then idk what is
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My colleagues are so fuckin stupid and I don’t know whether to blame them individually or blame Society™
Me: you see a relationship needs to be mutually beneficial. If you’re both not getting something you want it’s a bad relationship.
47 y/o man with 3 kids:
Real conversation I had with my dad
Me: I don’t personally understand the desire to have children, or why do many feel like failures when they’re unable to
Dad: (in that voice that indicates he thinks he’s about to drop some real Knowledge™️ on me) well you have to understand; if you reach a certain age and don’t have children, people will look at you weirdly. Nobody wants that
Me: …You’re saying you were peer pressured into having a baby? Like you were afraid of being “the weird kid” except you were a grown man with a job? Do you think that’s a good thing?
Dad:
The next person who tries to correct me when I say “Happy Holidays” is going to be told Happy Hanukkah instead. Very tired of hearing, “No, it’s MERRY CHRISTMAS.” I’m pretty sure Judaism was around a lot longer than your Buckstar’s boycotting butt, Karen.
My boss once shared a great story about that. This happened when he was in a layover in North Carolina back when the “War on Christmas” bullshit was first becoming prominent. He had gone to get a pack of cigarettes, and after he paid for it:
“Merry Christmas.”
“Happy holidays.”
“No. I said Merry Christmas.”
“Do you know what Hanukkah is about?”
“No, what?”
“Some people tried to make us worship their ways, so we rose up and killed them. Happy Hanukkah.”
I celebrate Christmas, but generally avoid holiday themed greetings when working as a cashier unless the customer mentions their holiday specifically.
The other day, two older ladies were buying briskets and told me they was for their Hanukkah celebration that night, so I responded something like “Well Happy Hanukkah! It’s the third night, right?”
I shit you not these two old ladies were so tickled that someone at a store wished them a happy Hanukkah. One of them literally told me I was “the first one to do that”.
To those who think there’s a war on Christmas, please get the fuck over yourself and remember that not everyone experiences the world the way you do.
can i add that saying “happy holidays” doesnt mean “not merry christmas” it means “i hope that whatever you celebrate is joyful and peaceful and a good time” like back tf up if you think otherwise
have you seen him?
Now You Have
imagine being a nearsighted roman and seeing this mosaic rat on the floor and just freaking losing your shit
god made a mistake when he made me a person instead of a friendly little cat on a midwestern apple orchard
A year ago I got black-out drunk at a charity bar crawl. My best friend commissioned a painting of his favorite photo of me from that night.
truth trying to go back into her well after dealing with mankind
lookingforarianna